so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
