Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
