just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
