SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
