you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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