Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
