She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
