I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
third nipple confirmed
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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