Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
