We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
