I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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