you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
