just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
