I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
How's work?
Spinning.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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