The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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