i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
