I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
