what if every blade of grass was a penis?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
