Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
