they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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