You're my little dorito
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
