Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
