Apparently you make a good broom.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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