I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
