do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
