YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
