Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
