im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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