it wasn't lemon gatorade
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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