We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
