8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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