I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
