is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
