I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
