I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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