I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
