I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
my poor anus
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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