I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
