That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
