in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
