Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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