She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Randomize
