i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
