i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i think i just lost a toe
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
