Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
