You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The best revenge is premature balding
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
