did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
