I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
