oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
