drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
